Black Regrets Read online

  “You.” My hands hooked onto his shoulders as I fixed my gaze with his. “You have gotten into me.”

  “Is it your uncle?” He fisted my hair, forcing me to look him in the eye. “Is he back?”

  Kicking him in the shin, Kelly didn’t understand my need to experience the intense pain he had introduced me to. Ever since the last time he spread me over the sawhorse, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I would dream of how he took me. How he brought me to new heights. I was addicted. Addicted to the new ways he had shown me how to get off. And I wanted to experience it again. More than anything else. It was what I craved.

  Letting go of my wrists, Kelly growled.

  “Hit me pussy!” I punched him over his heart.

  In one fell swoop he spun me around and pushed me over the back of the couch. Before I had time to breathe, he lifted up my dress as he wound his hand back, letting it fly across my ass cheeks as he spanked me raw.

  The pain was instant. The distraction, welcoming. Finally, my focus was back to the present where it belonged. And as the sting rippled across my skin, neither my future nor my past mattered as much as it had only a second ago.

  “This is what you wanted?” He ripped my underwear off my body. “For me to rough you up?”

  “Yes,” I growled like a lioness. I was so wet, it was disgusting. But what he was doing to me was exactly what I’d requested. “But harder.”

  Kelly kicked my ankles wide and continued his assault on my backside.

  The next time I blinked, my eyes landed on the gun. It wasn’t too far away and, again, I was drawn to it. All I wanted was to shoot it. Pull the trigger to feel the power. To know that I had it in me to protect myself from the dangers that seemed to be coming my way. But as soon as I extended a hand, reaching for it as if it had called me in, Kelly grabbed it away.

  “Oh, no you don’t,” he said, yanking my arms behind my back, clamping my wrists together with one hand. Leaning close to my ear, he whispered, “What is it about guns that gets you so turned on?”

  Smiling, I murmured, “The feel of the cool metal against my skin.”

  Pushing my face into the couch with his hand, Kelly stood back, opened the cylinder, and cleared out the bullets, emptying the gun. Fisting my hair, he grazed the insides of my thighs with the barrel. My muscles quivered against the cool metal, getting my breath to hitch. “Is this what you want?” he asked, nudging the muzzle against my throbbing pussy lips.

  “You wouldn’t dare,” I tempted him. But the truth was, I wanted him to do it. More than anything, I begged to get fucked by his gun.

  Laughing, he pulled the gun away, ripping my clothes off my body at the same time. My chest heaved as I fisted the couch with legs spread, admiring the tatters and shredded fabric that once was my dress and now hung off of me.

  Kelly let his hand come flying down over the same places he’d first hit. Spanking the areas until they swelled, he grunted his way to exertion.

  My nipples peaked, and my clit was erect. I throbbed with need, eager to be filled. “Do it. Fuck me with your gun. Stick it inside me.”

  Kelly chuckled as he reached behind me, spreading my pussy lips with his fingers. Slowly, he worked the gun’s muzzle inside me. Moaning, I tightened around the cold metal, not caring about making sure he had fully unloaded it before shoving it deep inside my drenched cunt.

  “Is this want you wanted?” Kelly thrust it in and out of me. “To know what it felt like to touch something so powerful?”

  Whimpering, I nodded.

  He reached around my pelvic bone and pressed his finger pad against my clit. Rubbing it in tiny circles, he continued to fuck me with the gun. “You’re a hot mess.”

  Biting my bottom lip, my body was on fire. What Kelly said was true. My toes curled and I was close to spilling over the edge.

  “You don’t need me.” He shoved the muzzle deeper inside me. “All you need to get off is the threat of death.”

  I heaved through labored breaths as my eyes closed.

  “Isn’t that true, my little slut?”

  Nodding, I wasn’t offended by his use of the word ‘slut.’ I knew better than anyone else I was damaged goods. Even before this, before Kelly, I knew what I was. There was no shame in the title given to us women with sexual appetites the size of men.

  “Don’t you dare come,” he said firmly.

  “I’m so close,” I cried.

  In and out he thrust the gun, pressing harder on my erect clit. There was no way I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from climaxing. It was there. So close I could taste it. “Kelly,” I breathed. “I can’t stop myself.”

  He removed his hand from my swollen nub and spanked my cheeks. And just when I was about to spill over, Kelly pulled the gun out of my pussy and quickly worked to unzip himself. A second later he slammed into me, violently thrusting his monster cock deep into my tight snatch.

  “Not until I say so,” he said, wrapping his fingers around my throat.

  Nodding, I got lost in the delicious way he stretched me. My flesh ached with raw, dull pain. And with each long stroke of his delicious cock, Kelly tightened his fingers over my trachea, slowly cutting off the air flow to my lungs. There was little doubt in my mind this was Kelly’s way of reminding me who held the power in our relationship. It wasn’t me. Wasn’t Madam. But Kelly. He was the one to decide when, how, and where we would go.

  “Fuck,” he growled. “Look at you.” He slammed into me from behind. “A sexy piece of tail who craves excitement.”

  When Kelly reached around to stroke my clit, I was blanketed in extreme pleasure. My body rocked to his rhythm, crashing forward with the power he packed into his rocking hips. Soon my eyes fluttered to the back of my head as a tingling sensation quickly consumed my entire body.

  On the verge of passing out, I thought about Mom, Angel, Madam, Alex, and Nash. And when Kelly touched me next, flashbacks to my uncle came rushing to the front of my mind. The good. The bad. The ugly.

  Kelly’s grip tightened and when his cock swelled, I knew he was close.

  Squeezing his shaft with my pussy, I tapped his hand around my throat, needing to breathe.

  Continuing his onslaught from behind, Kelly’s fingers flexed tighter.

  Stars flashed behind my lids.

  My mind slowly went black.

  And just when I was on my way to sleep, Kelly released his hold. “Now, baby. Come for me now.”

  Blood rushed to my head—I felt like I was flying.

  Kelly’s dick sent thick ropes of hot seed into my womb and I released my hold, letting my orgasm spill over the side, matching his escape.

  I felt dizzy as my body convulsed through an earth-shattering climax.

  My knees were weak, my legs jelly.

  Gasping for much-needed air, Kelly remained inside me. Smoothing his hand up and down my back, compassion consumed the man who’d just dominated me.

  And as the pain to breathe was quickly replaced by the feelings of euphoria rushing through my entire body, I knew in that moment what I needed to erase everything that made me broken.

  Kelly Black.

  21

  Kelly

  The first thing I did after fucking Kendra last night was put my gun away.

  She didn’t see where I’d stashed it, and I wasn’t about to tell her.

  It had sparked something inside her that I hadn’t ever seen before. She was possessed. And though I couldn’t tell her the complete truth as to why I had it in the first place, I didn’t lie when I said it was for protection.

  All night I laid awake thinking of Parker, where he was and how Tonya’s death was too much of a coincidence to think it wasn’t him who killed her. And when I wasn’t thinking about that, I was watching Kendra sleep.

  Once she drifted off to sleep, calmness radiated off of her warm body.

  Tucked under the covers, she slept soundly. Occasionally I would reach over just to feel her pulse, making sure she was still breathing. I w
as worried about her. There were things going on she wasn’t telling me, and I could see it wreaking havoc on her. She was fragile, broken—exactly like me.

  It killed me to know she was troubled by the lack of reassurance both Madam and I could give her when discussing her own safety. But it was all I had at the moment. Which wasn’t much. Kendra would never end up like Tonya or Maria. I wouldn’t allow it. As long as we were together, she was safe.

  But Kendra was right about one thing—it was Madam’s decision to determine our fate.

  And that was what twisted the pain in my side. No matter what I said to convince Kendra otherwise, she knew it as well as I did that there was nothing we could do. At least not until we came up with a plan to get Madam to agree to our new terms. Which I wasn’t sure I could do until I put Stone away for good. Until then, we could only wait.

  Scrambling the eggs, the smell of bacon and fried hash browns filled my kitchen.

  There might be too many variables to control what could happen in our lives next but, until then, at least I still had a say in how I started my day.

  When I’d snuck out of bed, Kendra barely stirred. I wanted to surprise her with breakfast. Looking at the counter, my spread of chopped fruit, eggs, coffee, juice, pancakes, and toast was all ready to be eaten.

  “Kelly—” the sweetest voice I’d ever known said from behind.

  Turning around, I found Kendra coming out of the back bedroom with sleep in her eyes. She looked beautiful, her messy bun tied up on her head—morning glory.

  Setting the spatula down next to the stove, I turned the burner to off and moved across the floor to her. Her thin legs poked out from beneath my oversized t-shirt, and I could tell just by looking at her that there was nothing beneath.

  Smoothing my hands down her arms, I bent my neck to kiss her.

  Her lips were warm against my mouth and her perky firm tits poked through the lettering across her chest. Pulling away, she whimpered.

  She was so fucking sexy she took my breath away. Wrapping her up in my arms I squeezed her tight, needing her to know how much she meant to me. “Are you hungry?”

  “Are you kidding?” She giggled. “Starved.”

  I chuckled and turned her to face the feast I had prepared.

  “After the appetite you worked up in me last night—” She flashed me a knowing look that chubbed up my dick.

  With my hand firmly placed at the small of her back, I guided her to the kitchen table where she lowered herself into an empty chair. “There’s fruit, coffee, eggs, hash browns, pancakes, bacon, and toast.”

  She glanced up at me.

  “I like to start the day off right.”

  She reached up and took a fistful of my shirt. Pulling me down to her lips, she demanded entrance into my mouth. Her tongue swirled around mine with passion and intent. And when she pulled away she said, “If it’s good, maybe I’ll let you work off the calories by ravaging me with your bedroom toys.”

  My lids hooded as I rubbed the ripples of my abs with my hand. Grunting, I said, “I like the sound of that.”

  When I stepped around the counter Kendra reached for her juice glass.

  “Kelly!” Her hand flew over her mouth as she swallowed down her first sip. Lifting her eyes, she fixed them on me. “You spiked my drink?”

  Smirking, I said in a raspy voice, “I did.”

  Shaking her head, she lifted the glass under her nose.

  “Can you guess what it is?”

  “Not hard.” Her eyes sparkled with amusement.

  “It’s hard all right.”

  “That’s not what I meant.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I mean, I know what it is.”

  My brows raised as I splayed my fingers out on the counter top, stabilizing my weight as I tipped forward.

  “It’s a screwdriver—”

  I angled my head to the side and said, “With vodka.”

  Kendra set the glass down in front of her and adopted a sullen look.

  “Would you prefer it to be a virgin?” I held up my own drink of plain orange juice.

  Eyeing me, she smiled and declined. “I’ll be happy to drink it as it is.”

  Moving to the fridge, I pulled out the butter, syrup, and jam. I wasn’t trying to isolate her with offering an alcoholic drink. I only wanted to add to the comfort this breakfast and morning was sure to provide us both with.

  “Kelly, can I ask you something?”

  Turning on a heel, I glanced toward the table with a furrowed brow.

  “How is it you can be around alcohol but not drink it?”

  It was a fair question, but something I thought we had gone over before. “Shall I remind you that I’m not an alcoholic?” My brows raised.

  Scooting her bottom to the front of the chair, Kendra continued, “What is it then?”

  With my arms full, I moved to the table where Kendra sat with inquisitive eyes and set the condiments down somewhere in the center.

  “I can guess as to why you don’t, but even if I guessed correctly you would never discuss something so personal if you weren’t ready.”

  I had to give her credit for her thorough assessment. She knew me well, and I appreciated that we had gotten to this point without the usual stress found when first starting to date someone new. Sure, we had our issues, but our relationship wasn’t the problem.

  Turning my back I went to collect my glass, filling it to the rim before sitting down to eat.

  “See?” Kendra huffed with frustration. “These are the exact secrets you keep from me that I was referring to last night.”

  “Why can’t a man just decline a drink?” My voice was light, playful. I didn’t want today to get serious.

  She let out a sigh.

  “It’s a depressant, after all,” I said, falling into the seat opposite her.

  “Okay, then. If that’s how you want to play.”

  I nodded as I picked up the plate of eggs, pushing a steaming pile onto my empty plate.

  “Did you share your secrets with Nora?”

  I paused, thinking it wasn’t fair of her to bring Nora into this. This was our discussion, and that was in the past. I hadn’t been the same person with Nora that I was now. And I doubted Kendra was the same person she was years ago, either. “Nora has nothing to do with this conversation.”

  “Kelly, I don’t want to ever take what you had with her away from you. But,” she cast her gaze to the plate of bacon, “if you want to love me the same way you loved her, then you have to tell me things that might make you uncomfortable.”

  Pushing my plate away, I brought my elbows to the table, folding my arms on top. “First, let’s get something straight.”

  Her eyes flickered.

  “I will never love you the same way I loved Nora. Nor would I ask you to love me the same way you may have loved somebody in your past.”

  She wet her lips, keeping her hands hidden on her lap. “Do you love me, Kelly?”

  Clenching my jaw, I tipped my head back. “Secondly, if you want to discuss topics that make us both uncomfortable, let’s start by discussing what the hell you’re doing with that family inheritance of yours.”

  Kendra’s lips pursed.

  My gaze held hers, never once wavering.

  She reached for her glass and chugged half of it down.

  “You’ve told me what happened with you and your uncle.”

  She dropped her head in her hands and rubbed her temples.

  “And I know about one of your parents being sick.”

  Kendra lifted her head and narrowed her eyes. Arching a brow, she asked annoyed, “What are you getting at, Kelly?”

  “You know names of people in my past, but I don’t know much about yours.”

  She held my gaze for a minute, her eyes swaying back and forth with mine, before saying, “Fine.”

  Filling my plate full of food, I listened as Kendra opened up the curtains to her past. She gave me the condensed version, touching on her dysfunctional home
and how she’d recently called her mom for the first time in what felt like forever. There were still dozens of questions I wanted to ask, but figured that I could save those for later. “What did you discuss with your mother?”

  Kendra snickered. “She asked what I did for a living.”

  Slicing up my pancakes, I asked, “And what did you tell her?”

  “Nothing.” She nibbled on the edge of a crispy piece of bacon. “I couldn’t tell her the truth. She couldn’t handle the truth.”

  “And what is the truth?”

  “That I’m an escort,” she spat.

  Sliding my hand across the table, Kendra settled her hand inside my palm. My fingers closed over her knuckles and I gave her a hard squeeze. “And is she the one who’s sick?”

  Shaking her head, Kendra said, “It’s my dad. He’s battling ALS.”

  My lips turned down. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Letting out a heavy sigh, she turned her head away. “Not now.” She turned back to face me and we immediately locked gazes. “And here I thought my uncle was lying all this time.”

  I drew my brows together, instantly curious to know what she meant by her statement. “What are you talking about?” I pulled my hand away. “You saw him again?”

  “He found me, Kelly. Told me that my parents were in trouble. That’s when he gave me the will; what was I supposed to do?”

  I closed my eyes and rubbed my face. I couldn’t believe it. No wonder Kendra’s head was filled with so much doubt. If I couldn’t stop her uncle from finding her, how in the world was she ever going to believe that I could stop more harm before it came knocking on her door?

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I knew this is how you would react.” She turned her palm to the ceiling and pointed her hand at me.

  “You can’t go out without me knowing exactly where you are,” I snapped. “I need you to tell me everything. Who you see. Where you go. People you talk to. Everything.”

  Kendra barked out a disbelieving laugh. “What does it matter?”

  “It matters,” I leaned across the table and growled.

  “Our month-long contract is nearly over, anyway.” She finished her drink, and just when our discussion was getting heated—