Black Regrets Page 11

  My cell phone started ringing.

  Twisting my spine around, I reached for it on the counter. A quick glance at the display screen let me know it was Giselle calling. “What’s up, Giselle? Now’s not a good time.”

  “Kelly—” Giselle paused. “She’s here.”

  22

  Kendra

  Kelly didn’t bother finishing his breakfast before leaving for the office.

  He said it was an emergency meeting and for me to stay put. I pretended to be annoyed by his demands to not leave his apartment without permission. And a small part of me truly was. But I was mostly happy to have him be protective and possessive. It was a huge turn-on for me, knowing that I was cared for with so much uncertainty swirling around my life.

  Though, at the same time, it was impossible to deny how helpless I felt that Kelly hadn’t given me a way out of the agreement we had with Madam. I knew he would share a solution if he had one. Instead, he only told me what I wanted to hear. That everything would be all right. Trust him. Leave it to him to worry about those things. And I couldn’t blame him for wanting to comfort me—or for lacking to come up with a solution—because I knew his plate wasn’t exactly empty.

  Before loneliness crept up on me, I went for Madam’s delivery package. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d failed to distribute it yesterday. It was only a matter of time before she found out and I knew that I had to get it delivered before Madam made her call—which she inevitably would.

  Popping the top open, I glanced inside.

  The stacks of money weren’t as neatly organized as when she’d given them to me, but I managed to collect what was spilled yesterday in Kelly’s car before I decided to steal his gun away from him.

  Inside my head, I could hear the clock ticking down. The pressure was on. The weight mounting. Kelly wasn’t going to like it, but I was going to have to make this delivery with hopes it would be my last.

  Closing it back up, my hand trembled as I thought about what Tonya and this package had in common. I’d be stupid to ignore Angel’s warnings—words that haunted me the moment the memory of what she said came rushing back to the front of my brain.

  What was Madam after, and was Angel’s warning sincere? Or was Angel sending me into a trap? I didn’t know what to believe or who to trust. My mind spun in circles the more I thought about it. The second I decided on a way forward, doubt made me revert back to my previous decision. Feeling stuck—like Madam was twisting my arm to agree to enter dangerous situations without knowing how to keep myself safe—I didn’t know a good way to move forward.

  I could run.

  Get away while I still could.

  But that meant saying goodbye to everything I owned, everyone I knew. Including Alex, Nash, and Kelly. And I just couldn’t do that. Even if my safety could be guaranteed, a life without the people I cared about most was no life at all. I’d been down that road before—when I left home—and I certainly never wanted to go back to a life as lonely as that.

  Padding back into the kitchen, I set the package down on the counter and made myself another drink. This time a little stiffer than what Kelly had first mixed. The vodka warmed my core and I turned my attention to the sun shining outside. My mind turned to my uncle.

  Kelly had every reason to be upset with him. But even through all the emotional turmoil my past created inside of me, what it did to our relationship was what mattered most. I wondered if Kelly would even like the person I would have been if my uncle never did what he did. There was no way of telling, and it didn’t matter. I could only pretend that I’d lost my virginity a different way.

  Taking another sip, my head began floating.

  The swirl of thoughts continued to fill the silence that surrounded me. I couldn’t stop thinking that my uncle used my Dad’s ALS diagnosis as an excuse to show me he knew about the inheritance. I could see it in Kelly’s eyes, too, when I told him. He thought my uncle had an ulterior motive—something I had been thinking myself but was too afraid to confirm. If his being back in LA and calls for me to reach out to my parents were in fact a set-up to something more than a rekindling of a damaged relationship, then I wouldn’t be surprised if things would soon get worse than they already were.

  Finishing my drink, I glanced to the table not wanting to ruin my day by thinking about how much I wanted to kill my uncle. There was still a lot of food that hadn’t been eaten. Fruit, pancakes, and a pile of egg sat cold, flirting with me to finish it. The bacon was gone. And my stomach was full.

  Smiling, I appreciated Kelly’s desire to want to surprise me with breakfast. As nice as it was, I hated how he always seemed to deflect the tough questions I had for him when it came to discussing his personal life. It was partially my fault for allowing it to happen, but I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just tell me the specifics of why he didn’t drink.

  I cast my gaze down to my glass.

  Yes, I knew alcohol was classified as a depressant, but that was not my personal experience. Maybe that was all it was to him. He was a health nut, after all. I was surprised he allowed us to have bacon when he was so conscious of everything he put into his body.

  But, then again, maybe there was something bigger driving his decision to remain sober. Something deeper keeping him grounded. And I wondered if it had anything to do with how Madam said Kelly was the reason Nora killed herself.

  Looking around, I speculated where Kelly hid his gun or if he’d taken it with him to the office.

  My cheeks flushed with memories of last night. It was so dirty what we did, but as I thought about how it felt—an icy hot experience—my lips curled into a wide, knowing grin. Getting hot and bothered just thinking about it, I doubted we were ever going to top that experience.

  Kelly wasn’t dangerous like everyone wanted me to believe. Even after I learned he owned a gun, I refused to believe the rumors. Because that was all they were—fabricated stories to get me to back off. If there was anybody I needed to keep an eye on, it was Madam. Not Kelly. She was the dangerous one.

  Lifting my hand to my mouth, I pushed images of Tonya to the side as I closed my eyes and touched my lips.

  They still tingled from the searing kiss Kelly left me with on his way out the door. Grabbing my ass, he’d pulled me into his manhood, reminding me what I had to look forward to. I loved him for the way he slowed down, keeping his priority on me even when he was pressed for time. I begged him to come home quick, but he refused to promise me something he couldn’t.

  Opening my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath as I made my way to the bedroom.

  The apartment still smelled of sex and when I passed a mirror, my cheeks were rosy and my eyes glittered like diamonds—the look of a sexually satisfied woman. There was no doubt I was in love with the man. He’d come into my life when I least expected it and, despite him being unwilling to tell me if he loved me back, I hated myself for letting our relationship get as far as it had.

  Passing the guestroom, I dug my heels in and paused at the door.

  There was more to him than he was telling me. I could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. And though I didn’t know if it was about Nora or what he knew about Maria’s and Tonya’s deaths, he was deliberately sheltering me from something.

  The door creaked as I pushed it open.

  Sticking my head inside, I peeked around thinking that I had never taken the time to stop and see what was inside. I was sure it was nothing special. But when it came to Kelly, there were always surprises.

  I stepped into the ordinary bedroom with my head swiveling on my shoulders. It looked like it had never been used. And just like the rest of the apartment, there were no pictures of family anywhere to be found. Not here. Not in the living. Or his master bedroom. The apartment was completely void of family, his past with Nora. I found it strange, seeing as he defended Nora so quickly, making me believe that he still loved her as much as he did when he was married to her.

  An unsettling feeling rolled my stomach
when I came to stand next to the bed. Pulling my hand back to my chest, I turned around, thinking I should give Kelly the benefit of the doubt. He deserved as much, but I couldn’t stop now. After coming this far, I might as well dig a little deeper.

  Kelly was so relatable. We were the same when it came to choosing to navigate this world alone. We didn’t seek help. Didn’t need to rely on anybody but ourselves. Even when it came to family, it seemed as if we were both orphans, still learning how to love.

  Torn between leaving and staying, I mumbled, “This penthouse really is only his sex pad.”

  With feelings of confidence fleeting, jealousy quickly stabbed my side. It pained me to think he might have brought another woman here before me. And it tore me apart to think that he could do it again in the very near future as soon as our contract ended.

  Swallowing down the bile rising in my throat, I couldn’t bear the thought.

  Yanking the dresser drawers open, I began searching. Pulling out clothes, tossing random items into a pile behind me, I didn’t know what it was I was looking for, just that I needed to find something. Something to convict him of being damaged like me.

  A shirt of a past lover.

  A piece of jewelry.

  A love note.

  A photograph.

  Anything that would reveal more of his past than what I already knew.

  Except there was nothing of significance in the drawers. Turning to the closet, I pulled the doors open to find myself being met by a wall of men’s clothing. Suit jackets, slacks, button-ups, and shoes filled the space. There was nothing feminine anywhere. And the masculine smells were intensely familiar.

  Instead of finding dirt on the man I was supposed to trust, I was only met with reminders of everything I was about to lose. And it killed me. Twisted my heart in two and caused my head to hurt. I didn’t want to lose him. He wasn’t a man any woman should ever let go of. Yet that was what seemed to be happening.

  Sliding the hangers over the rack, all I could think was how this was Kelly.

  Everything I loved about him. Here, tucked away inside a tiny room that probably played little significance in his actual life, I found him again.

  With tears threatening to spill, I spread my arms and lunged forward. Hugging a suit jacket, I clutched it close to my heart, feeling something crinkle inside a pocket.

  My heart stopped as I blinked my eyes dry.

  Delving my hand inside, I pulled out an old photograph with three familiar faces printed on the paper. First it was Kaycee, then Kelly in the middle, followed by Nora—both of the women tucked neatly under of his arms. They were dressed in dark tones, and the hearse parked behind them confirmed the event.

  I backpedaled all the way to the bed where I gently sat on the edge, staring at their three faces.

  My shoulders slumped and my posture went limp.

  Nora was as beautiful as Kaycee. Even though I’d barely met her, Kaycee was the only connection I knew Kelly to have to his past. Everyone else in his life was work-related.

  Including me.

  Tilting my head to the side, I lifted the photo closer to my face.

  But if this wasn’t Nora’s funeral, then whose was it?

  From the kitchen, I heard my cell phone ring. Ignoring it, I let it go to voicemail. I wasn’t in the mood to talk. But when it started ringing again immediately after it stopped the first time, I feared that it might be Kelly.

  Quickly putting the photo back where I’d found it, I ran to the kitchen recognizing the blocked incoming call. There was only one person who it could be and, unfortunately for me, my time had just ran out.

  “Darling, Madam,” I mocked her when I answered. “Good day to you.”

  “Sweetie, don’t get cute with me.” Her voice was sharp.

  My lips snapped shut hearing she wasn’t in the mood to be teased.

  “Did you happen to make the delivery without incident yesterday?”

  I darted my eyes from left to right as my brows pulled in, debating how best to answer. I had assumed she knew the delivery was never received, but did she know the reason why?

  Sliding my forearm across the counter, I pulled Madam’s package toward me. Watching my fingers tremble, all I could hear was Kelly’s warning that the money was the reason I would eventually end up dead. And maybe he was right, but lying to Madam now would only make matters worse—if not seal my fate.

  “About that—”

  “Oh, dear.” I could hear Madam frown. “Did something happen?”

  “Yes.” I paused. “But there is nothing to worry about.” I couldn’t tell her that the reason I failed to do my job was because of Kelly. She would have his head, and mine, too. Though he did say that Madam told him where I would be, so—

  “You still have it, don’t you?”

  “I do.” My eyes were glued to the package. “Safe and sound.”

  “Baby doll, do you remember what I said the first time you made a delivery?”

  Thinking back that far—and with everything that had happened since—it took me a minute to remember what she said. Then it struck.

  “The moment you stop delivering is the minute Kelly Black goes away.”

  My stomach dropped. She did this. Set both of us up for failure again. “I promise to make it today,” I pleaded.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” her voice sang through the line. “I know you will.”

  Closing my eyes, I let out a sigh of relief.

  “But don’t worry about making another trip out there again.”

  My eyes popped wide open.

  “I’ll send someone to you.”

  But before I could tell her where I would be—not wanting her to send someone to Kelly’s—she killed the call, leaving me in a panic.

  23

  Kelly

  His tussled dark hair was easy to identify.

  Even through the glass entrance doors leading into the office I knew who he was.

  But the bigger question was, what was he doing here?

  As soon as they both heard me enter, he pulled away from whispering secrets into Giselle’s ear. Her cheeks flushed with infatuation. This wasn’t the time to have her forget the task at hand.

  Glancing at me, he straightened his spine and stuffed one hand inside his pocket while offering me the other. “Drake Goodman.”

  “Yes, I know who you are.” I shook his hand, eyeing Giselle.

  Giselle ducked her head, crumpling under scrutiny. “Drake was just leaving.”

  Shoving a hand through his hair, Drake glanced to Giselle before fixing his eyes back on me. “I was in the area and thought it would be a nice gesture to quickly say hello to a friend.”

  “Have a nice day, Drake,” I said, leaving no room for debate. Turning to Giselle, I marched past her desk and said, “Get your shit together. We have work to do.”

  I pretended to be busy, organizing the files piling up on my desk as I ignored the whispers coming from outside the door. With an unassuming eye, I watched her walk Drake to the exit and as soon as she’d come back inside—alone—I stepped out and reminded her, “You know better than to be bringing boyfriends to the office.”

  “It wasn’t my idea.” Giselle made excuses. “And I couldn’t just tell him to leave.”

  Not wanting to waste another minute of my precious time, I said, “Regardless, our office isn’t a place to fraternize with possible partners.”

  Pleading with me with her eyes for forgiveness, Giselle held her hands in front of her belt buckle. But with threats against Kendra and me mounting, and still not knowing where Timothy Parker was hiding out, I didn’t want any new faces hanging around our office. It was too risky. There were too many wild cards wanting to see us fail. And it didn’t sit well with me knowing that he popped in completely uninvited.

  “From now on,” I softened my tone, “if you are expecting any visitors, you need to first seek my approval.”

  “Understood, Kelly.” Giselle bounced on her toes.

/>   Moving on, I asked, “Now where are we with Maria Greer’s case files?”

  Giselle put her game face back on as she stepped back behind her desk. “I have them organized based on when they happened. Everything is color coded to easily identify the facts to support our theory.”

  Picking up a couple folders I thumbed over them, knowing that Giselle had spent a considerable time in putting the documents together. I quietly thanked her for that. They were neatly organized and reconfirmed my reasoning for hiring her in the first place. She hadn’t lost sight of what she’d signed up for. That allowed me to roll my shoulders back a little further, knowing that we were going into our day prepared. “Are the photos I gave to you all here?”

  Giselle took the files from me and shuffled through them before handing them back to me. “I can’t stop thinking about Mario sitting in his cell for something he didn’t do. Are you sure Sylvia Neil could have murdered Maria?”

  I froze and swore that I felt the air in the room get sucked out the moment Giselle whispered Sylvia’s guilt. “It doesn’t matter who killed Maria at this point,” I reminded her.

  “But if she did, Kelly, then the least we can do for Mario is make Sylvia face justice if she is in fact guilty.”

  I locked my gaze on hers. “Which we will.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded.

  “It might not be the kind of justice we would like her to receive, but by the end of this we’ll make sure the world knows who Maria’s real killer is.”

  Her eyes fluttered open. “Someone has to take Mario’s place.”

  Shaking my head, I sighed.

  “Kelly, please tell me that is your plan? Mario will be set free, won’t he?”

  Wetting my lips, I said, “Judge Smith will deny any request to hear evidence on Sylvia since the state already has a suspect arrested and pleading guilty to the crime.”

  Giselle’s hands went to her head as she pulled her hair back in frustration.